I'm not the writer in our family. My oldest daughter is. Why am I writing this? Good question. I think that at this stage, as we embark on what is not a new journey for us but an old one, I needed somebody to keep us accountable. That would be you, the reader. But more importantly, I'm hoping, that in some small way, we can help others in their journeys. What is that journey about? Adoption. Yes, adoption. This is a journey that actually started with my husband and I long before we were married or had even met. For me, it started at an orphanage in the Dominican Republic back in 1990. For my husband, it started with an orphanage in China. Worlds apart, yet they have many things in common. The obvious being children who don't have families to care for them who are perhaps (if it's permitted) waiting for a family. At the orphanage where I lived for a little over a year and then visited several times afterwards, the children were not necessarily adoptable, so they grew up on the orphanage grounds out in the Dominican countryside with Reverend Diaz at the helm. He had been running the orphanage, actually 3 to be exact, since the 1960's during the time of the Dominican Dictator Trujillo. The story goes that he tricked the dictator into giving him part of his land on a farm in the country called La Suiza. An amazing piece of land which was on a hillside covered with mango trees and had a view of the surrounding countryside. Truly a beautiful place. Anyway, I could go on about my experiences there, working among 80 boys from the ages of 3-18. A job I loved and hated at the same time. But that is where my journey started. My love for adoption and how much I wanted to do it...yet, it still hasn't happened.
My husband's experiences I think were more brief. I know he had experiences visiting orphanages in Latin America and then when he was in Hong Kong, visiting an orphanage in China. I'm sure it was quite a contrast to what I had experienced as they say most Chinese orphanages are filled with girls. I've seen some of the pictures and I know the experiences have touched his heart deeply also.
The journey was solidified after we were married, we had moved to the Dallas-Ft. Worth area, and I found a part-time job typing up case studies for an adoptions social worker. It was a great experience as I got to see the good and the bad sides of adoption, particularly international adoption from Russia. We were busy caring for our first daughter at the time, so the idea of adoption was always there in our minds, but we weren't ready to take it on ourselves. This was especially true as we found out we were pregnant with our second daughter within a year and a half of having our first. The thought of having two little ones was plenty for me to handle at the time. We then moved, my husband was unemployed for an 8 months period and then our thoughts turned to moving overseas. Hardly a time to be thinking about adoption. But the idea always sat on the back burner of our minds.
3 years after moving to Bulgaria, we were living in a small Turkish village, and we began to revisit the thought again as we planned to come back to the States for 4 months. We thought we'd be able to do a home study during that time. But we had a very difficult time finding an organization that would allow an overseas American family adopt a child. When we finally found one, we found a little boy named Nar from Azerbaijan who had a cleft palate. Before we could get back to the States to do a home study, we found out the boy had been adopted. I also discovered that I was pregnant! Caleb Lee was born September 10, 2009 which was 4 and a half months into my pregnancy. We were devastated. After that, it was very hard to think about much of anything. And we didn't want an adoption to be a pregnancy rebound. So again the thought delegated to the back burner.
Fast forward another 4 years to our next Stateside time in 2013-14 which was to last 11 months...plenty of time to do a home study. We began looking for an adoption agency again. This time, for some reason, we started looking at older children. Our hearts were drawn to one boy in particular named Keeton. Something we cannot explain, but we strongly felt like this boy born in April of 2000 looked like he belonged in our family. We filled out the initial application and received Keeton's file. It confirmed our feelings, but yet, it still wasn't to be. The adoption would take over a year to complete and we'd have to be in the States. We couldn't risk losing our visa status in Bulgaria by staying out so long, so again...back burner. When we arrived in Bulgaria, we moved to a large city. We all had a lot of adjusting to do including the girls who were struggling with the very difficult social scene they found at the private school they were attending. Certainly not a time to bring a new family member on board.
So here we are in October 2015, 25 years after my love for orphans was instilled upon me, and I cannot give up the idea. Some people know that once I have my heart or mind set on something, it's hard to dissuade me. I found out recently that may be due to a good percentage of Irish blood in me. Or just knowing that God won't give me peace until I do something about it. Anyway, what matters is that we are embarking on the journey, once again and praying that this time it won't stop until it is completed. But that's definitely where the journey will truly begin, adjusting to a new family member. We know that our newest family member is out there somewhere, and I'm praying for him/her. I hope you'll join me.
My husband's experiences I think were more brief. I know he had experiences visiting orphanages in Latin America and then when he was in Hong Kong, visiting an orphanage in China. I'm sure it was quite a contrast to what I had experienced as they say most Chinese orphanages are filled with girls. I've seen some of the pictures and I know the experiences have touched his heart deeply also.
The journey was solidified after we were married, we had moved to the Dallas-Ft. Worth area, and I found a part-time job typing up case studies for an adoptions social worker. It was a great experience as I got to see the good and the bad sides of adoption, particularly international adoption from Russia. We were busy caring for our first daughter at the time, so the idea of adoption was always there in our minds, but we weren't ready to take it on ourselves. This was especially true as we found out we were pregnant with our second daughter within a year and a half of having our first. The thought of having two little ones was plenty for me to handle at the time. We then moved, my husband was unemployed for an 8 months period and then our thoughts turned to moving overseas. Hardly a time to be thinking about adoption. But the idea always sat on the back burner of our minds.
3 years after moving to Bulgaria, we were living in a small Turkish village, and we began to revisit the thought again as we planned to come back to the States for 4 months. We thought we'd be able to do a home study during that time. But we had a very difficult time finding an organization that would allow an overseas American family adopt a child. When we finally found one, we found a little boy named Nar from Azerbaijan who had a cleft palate. Before we could get back to the States to do a home study, we found out the boy had been adopted. I also discovered that I was pregnant! Caleb Lee was born September 10, 2009 which was 4 and a half months into my pregnancy. We were devastated. After that, it was very hard to think about much of anything. And we didn't want an adoption to be a pregnancy rebound. So again the thought delegated to the back burner.
Fast forward another 4 years to our next Stateside time in 2013-14 which was to last 11 months...plenty of time to do a home study. We began looking for an adoption agency again. This time, for some reason, we started looking at older children. Our hearts were drawn to one boy in particular named Keeton. Something we cannot explain, but we strongly felt like this boy born in April of 2000 looked like he belonged in our family. We filled out the initial application and received Keeton's file. It confirmed our feelings, but yet, it still wasn't to be. The adoption would take over a year to complete and we'd have to be in the States. We couldn't risk losing our visa status in Bulgaria by staying out so long, so again...back burner. When we arrived in Bulgaria, we moved to a large city. We all had a lot of adjusting to do including the girls who were struggling with the very difficult social scene they found at the private school they were attending. Certainly not a time to bring a new family member on board.
So here we are in October 2015, 25 years after my love for orphans was instilled upon me, and I cannot give up the idea. Some people know that once I have my heart or mind set on something, it's hard to dissuade me. I found out recently that may be due to a good percentage of Irish blood in me. Or just knowing that God won't give me peace until I do something about it. Anyway, what matters is that we are embarking on the journey, once again and praying that this time it won't stop until it is completed. But that's definitely where the journey will truly begin, adjusting to a new family member. We know that our newest family member is out there somewhere, and I'm praying for him/her. I hope you'll join me.
